Somewhat related to yesterday's post...

 “Adoption Loss is the only trauma in the world where the victims are expected by the whole of society to be grateful.” - Keith C. Griffith

This quote punched me in the gut.  It’s a true statement.  How many times have adoptive parents heard from well-meaning others, “Your child is so lucky to have you!”  We as a society tend to assume that when an adopted child joins a family everything is all better.  But it’s not.  Adopted children have experienced a primal wound, which will impact their entire lives in unique ways and to varying degrees.  

Consider for a moment all that an adopted child has lost.  Dwell for a few minutes on what that would feel like.  Please consider these things before saying to an older adoptee, “Don’t you just love it here?”  Or, “Wow, you are one blessed kid!”  He or she is undoubtedly on a unique journey of grieving and healing and such statements and questions invalidate that. 

Adoptive parents and communities have a responsibility to acknowledge over and over and over again the losses their children have endured.  As Christian adoptive parents, we also have the responsibility and joy of pointing our kids back (again and again and again) to the One who is well-acquainted with grief, will never forsake them, and is the ultimate adoptive Father.  

Only He fully knows and only He can fully heal.  We must rehearse the gospel to them daily, rather than assume that healing came on Gotcha Day.